WTF! It's been 2 months and 11 days since I published my last entry. Whew. Time really passes by so fast... so fast that I did not saw it coming. I mean, it is already the second week of classes. Once again, WTF!!
Viva La Liga El Tomasino! Tomasino! El Tomasino!
HAHAHA. Yeah! This is the first thing that I learned in my PE class. We were chanting our lungs out. Literally. The building (i dont know if it is the gym or the covered court. WTF im just new here, ok?) was filled with freshmen and there were this "semi-kalbs" who were leading us. It was cool by the way. The chanting, the building, the "kalbs". All those stuffs...
UST. I met a lot of people. I even had a tropa already. But my favorite friend is Francois (pronounced as frans-waa). Wanna know why? Kasi masarap siyang pagtripan. hahaha. There is never a dull moment when you are with him. He never stops talking. Imagine yourself with a walking anus. hahaha.
My block was also fun. It's like a can of pork and beans. Different kinds of people in one block. I mean, I have a blockmate who looks like Dingdong Dantes. Though I hate Dingdong for being an Atenean (sorry for the other ateneans out there), I still find it cool.
And the professors were also great. I mean, isn't it wonderful to have a professor that would send you out of the laboratory whenever you fail to answer a question in a LabConference? Or maybe a professor that would give you 3 points directly to the grade when you achieve a complete attendance? whatever your preference is, it better be good. :)
Well, this looks like a blog entry. See you soon. :)
Last Saturday, I attended the Youth Service in the Victory Christian Fellowship (VCF) Center. I really missed this place --- Hell, I missed everyone. Even though the service had no Word, I still enjoyed the time because it was all Worship. I was also happy because I saw my Life Coaches again and like I said, I also miss them. The night was REALLY great. But all of the joy disappeared when my mom arrived…
M: anung oras ka dumating?
E: mga 8 na.
M: *lumaki mata* Itigil-tigil mu na ang pagsama sa mga ganyan ha! Hindi natin namamalayan na June na pala kaya mag-aral ka na. Wala ka namang mapupulot jan! Wala ka ng alam kung hindi lakwatsa! Sinasabi ko sayo, pumirme ka dito sa bahay!
E: *nanahimik habang nababadtrip*
SHIT! You see that! I mean, its summer break right? Isn’t it that summer breaks are meant to spend your time for yourself and enjoy the moment while you are away from the hassles of studying? Where the hell in the world does she get those ideas? I’ve been studying in MunSci for the last 4 Years of my life and its time to celebrate my Big Next Step. But what does she do? She LIMITS me of my privileges and she hinders me from my leisure!
To be honest, I arrived at our house at around 6:30pm. I lied to her about the time because my usual arriving time is 8pm. The only reason that I went home early that time is that we had no Life Group, so there’s not much to do. I did that because I don’t want her to be shocked the next time I go home 8 in the evening.
But that doesn’t matter. What matters most is her TRUST. She doesn’t have that anymore. She doesn’t trust me that’s why she always pin me down every time I have a ghetto. SHIT! What do I have to do? Another thing that I hated about her is that she always pressures me whenever I achieve something. Like when I qualified in the MSF. If it weren’t for that fucking scholarship I would’ve had my freedom to enjoy my vacation. But because of that achievement of mine, she forces me to study instead of have a relaxing summer. I mean, I’m only human, and I also get tired. I’m really, really TIRED of studying, mainly because of MunSci. But still, she doesn’t get it. She pushes my beyond my limit that I prayed for my slot in the scholarship to be given to others. I wished that I hadn’t passed that foundation. . .
Doesn’t she think about my own enjoyment? Do you think that I’ll enjoy summer reading the Health Almanac that my Aunt gave to me? Do you think that I’ll have a chance to have my enjoyment when college classes start? Sa tingin ba niya magagawa ko pang maglakwatsa sa college?? Hai… I really hate it…
I just pray to God that she bumps her head and wake up to reality…
I just want to graduate college and have a job… then I would be able to leave everything behind. And when I say everything, I mean EVERYTHING. . .
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Let me tell you some of my "journey" inside this brain of mine..
There was once a ship sailing between two islands. The islands were too close to each other, making a narrow route for the vessel. It was definitely a rough ride. They had the so-called "Sea Quakes" because of the rushing waters from a nearby river. It was also rocky. The vessel's compartment almost bore a hole because of these. It was almost an impossible voyage. But because of the courageous Captain, the ship was able to pass through.
The endless horizon welcomed the ship. It was a vast, empty sea, with no other ship in sight. It was also sunset, and they saw the sun smiling down at them, as if it was also happy for their victory against nature. The crew and the Captain rejoiced. But all this celebration ended when the sun disappeared. Darkness engulfed her with all her withheld glory. The Captain didn't know what to do for it was dark and there was no wind to take them where they must be. There were also no waves to carry them through the sea. Life seemed meaningless. Life seemed hopeless. Life seemed lifeless. Terrified, the Captain prayed. He also invited the crew --- to pray to their Gods. Then, ever so slowly, the wind blew. It was refreshing, it was cold, it was LIFE. The ship moved. An inch at first, then a foot, then it traveled a meter. The ship journeyed the horizon. . . without any direction. Off to nowhere, we'll never know. . .
I thought about this one lazy afternoon when I was lying in my bed.
I thought of ships. And I saw that ships resemble us very well. It's like life, you see. We have this journey that we must go through. And in this voyage, there are certain obstacles that we must surpass. Just like when the ship was able to pass through the narrow route. Narrow, yes. But impossible, I don't think so. It's how we look at things that make it either easier or difficult. It's how we deal with problems that define us, not the other way around.
Here comes success. We always rejoice and celebrate. Then, unexpectedly, here comes another problem. When all is lost, and there is no more hope just like the ship in the middle of the sea, we always seek God for help. I mean, we always see Him every time there is a problem. As if He's the great Problem Solver. We seldom thank Him for the things that He do. Isn't it pathetic? We see Him when we need Him. (I’m not generalizing here. I'm just sticking to the stereotype) then, we continue to journey life, with no direction, just like the ship. We don't know where we are going. We just GO.
I was just doing my thinking lately. When are we going to stop being a ship?... I mean, can't we control our lives? We do we always have to leave everything to FATE?.. Hmmm.. it's kind of odd. We'll, i better stop here. Just shared my thoughts. :)
~its been a long time since I posted here. I've been quite busy these few days/weeks, you see. And I don't think I can post my brains in an instant
~and, uhmm, I want to apologize for this entry. I know it sucks. I thought of making a poem out of this one, but then I wanted to try another approach --- short story. I don't think that this is a story. wah. I don't know. T_T
Oh man, I SUCK. I belong to the world of poetry, not in the world of short story. SORRY. T_T_T
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Sentiments of the Sentimental
Milk and Honey;
A cup of coffee.
Never try to stop.
Break this brittle cup.
Pour your hearts out;
Pull your lungs about.
Drink this Milk and Honey;
Break their cup of coffee.
You’ll lick it, you’ll dip it.
But never ever try to pour it
To the hearts of a Deceiver,
For theirs is the coffee forever.
Taste their bitter endings,
Feast on their sour beginnings.
They’ll laugh at our mediocrity,
And we’ll laugh at their curiosity.
Curse them with a never-ending curse.
Force them with a never-ending force.
Look at how the stroll, look at how they fall.
They stroll towards nowhere like a ball.
Seize the moment, seize their moment.
Demise the moment that they have spent.
Caress their deceiving beauty;
An invisible cloak for their mediocrity.
Break their heart, take their heart.
Pierce it with the sharpest dart.
For theirs is the cup of coffee,
And ours is the Milk and Honey.
I made this poem when I was still in Surigao two weeks ago. I was alone in my room that time. I was thinking so awkwardly about my past experiences. I also thought on how did I get here in the first place. If you're wondering what am I doing here, then it's plain simple.
Well, I was chosen as one of the Groom's Men for my uncle's wedding. Also, all of our relatives on my mother's side was there. As for the wedding day itself, it was good. The church was good. The guests were good (considering that most of them are well-known businessmen and politicians). The food was great. I almost ate the buffet itself (literally and metaphorically speaking). But between those goodness that had happen, something inside my body made me realize something about life.
I learned that everything in our life, the moments when we wake up, the sudden mishaps and accidents, the deceiving misconceptions, and even our uncontrollable bowel movements, all of them are PRE-MEDITATED. Well, not by us, of course, but by the Great Creator Himself.
My point is: Everything that happened, everything that is happening, and everything that will happen to us has its own reason. What ever reason that may be, I'm pretty sure that it will be for the better. But this lesson maybe a curse because it can be unfair at times. For example, what if you found something in your life that seemed to be the thing you have been looking for all along? Then all of a sudden, you lose it. It sucks, right? Hate that reality.
Another thing that I have learned is that sometimes, when you reach you goal, when you come a long way only to look for that "something missing" , when you find the thing that you've been waiting for a long time, it is impossible to say that there will be no antagonist who'll create mayhem to us. They have a thousand reason to criticize us. They act as if they WERE true friends but the truth is, they are worst than our enemies. At least our enemies have the guts to say that they hate us in front of our faces. But with these "friends" that I am talking about, they are all cowards. They talk, but only to our asses when we're on our backs.
That lesson inspired me to write this poem. I made this for the people around us who seem to care, but in reality, they don't. They are just faces we see in the crowd everyday. They say hello, but inside of that smile of his/hers, hatred and criticism is slowly creeping in.They smile when you achieve something, but deep inside, they envy you with every breath that you take. That's hardcore Pathetic.
Why "Milk and Honey"? Well, those things are found in Cupid's Arrow. Therefore, I use it as a symbol for love. Symbol for OUR love.
Why "Cup of Coffee"? Well, coffee is one hell of a bitter beverage. It symbolizes THEIR bitternes.
To those little devils: why don't you mind your own business? Is that the life you chose? To spend everyday of your life spreading anomalies about us? haha. you look pathetic.
To my readers, hope you like it. I'm planning to pursue my decision that I will pass this for our Folio. I hope for your comments about this so that I could generalize my mind. Uhmm.. sorry for this rush blog. Im kinda sleepy right now, Thanks :)
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